Have you ever noticed how a certain purity of essence can pour from one human being to another? Often the speaker of truth is not even aware of their influence, the happy power of their purpose.
D’s life opened out with confidences placed in him by a mover and shaker whose leadership we both revere. Once in conversation about his long marriage, he deferred to his wife. “I have been married to 6 different women, and I loved every one of them.” Tears welled. He beamed.
I’ve thought about that kind of love ever since. Author Gary Zukav is a transformative thinker who writes about the future of marriage and the way it will evolve. He talks about the manner in which two people can come to seek common purpose and use all their experiences for spiritual growth.
You have seen these people in action; I questioned the process, but now am beginning to see the evidence of highly functioning partnerships everyday. This is the pair that uses their emotions for guidance as they learn to create constructive consequences instead of painful and unhealthy ones.
Even so to stay awake to what is happening with the one you live with is a challenging trip. Our friend is a study in the art of a tamer ego because it’s clear that watching his partner evolve is his greatest joy and privilege.
As D and I are about to visit our 42th Valentine’s Day, I say touche to the affection and wisdom that allowed our leader/teacher/friend such generosity of thought. Growing old together is no joke, though the light weight I was at the beginning may have insisted on its creme puffery.
We all are on better terms these days with the unexpected, those forks in the road streaming by fits of fate or by self creation. Even the newly committed can now appreciate this truth after the shenanigans of 2020.
The super sauce is what it has alway been: the courage to reveal evolving truths one to another. Dalton is a gifted listener and by his example I do my best to seek him as the example. Imagine that things could be as simple as that.
My friend Lissa Johns Noel has become an adept scribe over time. She is scribe in the sense that her essence compels her to take notes. She must have volumes of them. A library of events, conversations, best practices etc., all taken down in her own distinguishable hand.
She and her husband Randy devoted their couple-hood to valuing certain ideals together. They were a loving pair from the get-go – I know I was there. Just this month Lissa released a book she wrote called One Hundred I Wills after You Say I Do: A Guide to Help Your Marriage Grow. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08VR9FFTZ
The simple and direct ideas for prospering as a pair was the aim. She has the ambition to make life better at home and abroad in this singular endeavor.
One of the many tips of 100 I Wills that quicken my heartbeat is Number 20. “I will respect my spouse’s growth as an individual” – She goes on to say, “It’s normal to grow and change as you go through different seasons in life.” This I believe gets to the heart of our best intentions.
Lissa and I know this in a broader context as we share a longtime sisterhood that after a time showed up with the physical loss of a dear friend who in her last year on earth put Seasons of Love written by Jonathan Larson and performed by the cast of Rent on repeat. These words linger in my catalog of humming:
In truths that she learned, or in times that he cried
In bridges he burned, or the way that she died. With all the life lessons and note taking, who else can we become but advocates for each other no matter what our assignments may be?
Happy week of love, y’all.