A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to go home and turn up the pot roast and get the peas out of the freezer. Garrison Keillor

Just because my freezer has been empty most of my adult life doesn't mean that I don't appreciate a well stocked larder. All the same, a quandary is present whenever I consider the order and the down right science that comes with freezing food.

My heritage is deplete of positive freezer therapy. One grandparent kept a gigantic freezer chest in an isolated hallway. Once the heavy top was flung back for all of its worth, I could peer inside to preview the cavity contents, darkened with net bags of unshelled pecans and rump roasts that were on special from the Jitney Jungle. This would leave me in a cold sweat.

But that was then and this is now. Today the thing that holds me back from enhancing my food preservation skills is my friend, the freezer genius. The contents of her appliance can provoke intimidation and down right tears of envy. Masterpiece comes to mind.

For many years she has tested various concoctions in icy suspension. Knowledge of her special powers have grown exponentially and she is now a trusted source for many who prefer consulting a live expert with their freezer queries.

Of course, it doesn't hurt that she is a sublime chef. Even so, the roles of exalted cook and freezer artist entail separate gifts. Her freezing penchant requires a obsession with being prepared, putting her in the category of Martha Stewartness. Only my friend doesn't have a staff. She prepares and freezes every single morsel on her own. Joyfully, I might add.

Anecdotal evidence is strewn about the country. Ask anyone who knows her and has experienced duress. She is often the first to assuage a furrowed brow with delivery of a complete meal, instructions taped to the top in her small, neat script. And by complete, I mean - main dish, sides and dessert.

I admire that her family is able to shop her stash - appetizers, casseroles, breads, and desserts. Her legacy is without equal. She has a deeply practical grip on life, most likely gifted to her by who else, but a grandmother.

She recently honored me with a peek at the family jewels, beautifully wrapped and labeled plates of food - gourmet TV dinners. With that I knew that I had no choice but to gather some self respect, up my game and learn to freeze like the artist.